I need help.
I’m a rather self reliant person. I earned the grades that got me into college. I joined all the right clubs and organizations to build my resume, and I even networked my way though college on my own to meet all the awesome friends I made. At the end of the day, if you asked me if I needed any help to get where I was going, I would probably have told you, “No, thank you!”
All these ingrained habits didn't change when I came on staff and started doing ministry. I set out to be “the best campus staff girl ever hired!” I doubt I would have ever admitted that, but I’m sure that idea was floating around in the back of my head.
You probably see the dilemma…I work for a ministry. In ministry we share the gospel. The gospel states that your salvation rests on Christ’s works alone, and that, in reality, your good deeds are actually tainted by sin and count for nothing.
Not only that, but I as a human being am completely incapable of changing anyone’s heart towards receiving Christ. Sure, I can share the gospel, give them all the “right” advice, and love them relentlessly; but unless God changes their hearts and gives them faith, they won't believe.
Humbling. I could spend my entire time on staff laboring away and not see any fruit. Psalm 127:1 says, “Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain.”
This leaves me completely dependent on God. In the end, my prideful self has to rest and admit that I DO in fact need help. I cannot do this alone. And I thank God for this, for the truth he has been teaching me, and for the reality I live in. In the end, He gets all the glory anyways. So I’m learning to give it to Him by depending on Him today.